As painful as it might be, I think I’ve finally begun to recognize how much people suck. If I wasn’t a believer in the everlasting hope that comes from God, I’d say that there’s little hope for us.
To paint you a picture:
We’re a society that thrives on the misfortunes of others; we’re greedy, we’re lustful, we are essentially monsters that crave everything that we aren’t meant to have. I find myself at a loss because of this. I like, and want to believe, that there are actually a few “good” (whatever that means) ones left out there, and when I think of some of my [Earthly] heroes/mentors— I’m reminded of the incredible soul changing grace that comes from God.
as complicated as this hope is, it’s rare that I allow myself the distinct pleasure that is letting that hope exist.
okay, I’ve gotta be really vulnerable here.
I too am flawed. I too am like the society that thrives on the horrible things that occur to others. I’d be lying if I said that I was any different; my enneagram number doesn’t change that about me, and that’s just a fact I have to live with.
Even in this, I still find myself ferociously gnawing after the people who I see the glimmer of hope in. I see how free they are; how unchained they are from the shackles of society. I am inevitably drawn to them in all ways, and I love them in every way that’s possible for them to be loved by a mere human. A large chunk of me longs with a tireless urgency to be like them.
And maybe I am. I don’t know; I don’t get to see myself in person.
But these people have a fatal flaw, as all heroes do. They suffer from the incredible imperfectness that runs in the veins of every person able to exist. They too will fail us.
That’s the wonderful terrible that plagues our society. People are unreliable. We have this desire to be the one who succeeds, the one who makes it, the one who crawls out from the pits of despair.
I know that in myself, this prideful thought leads to me thinking I’m better than anyone else. When I get like that, I’m reminded of what Paul says in the book of Romans chapter 12 verse 3:
“for by the grace given me I say to every one of you: do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”
When I do myself a favor and take Paul’s advice, I’m humbled. Sometimes we like to think that we’re better than everyone else based on the premise that we believe in God and that He loves us. The thing is, God loves everyone, and He loves us all as we are, not how we think we are. There’s a lot of comfort in this, but I think sometimes in an effort to please the world, we try to be “perfect” Christians.
And to keep it bluntly honest: we are sinners.
but sometimes we, and by we, I mean, I, like to pretend I live a cookie cutter life as a gal who loves Jesus and makes no mistakes. I’m starting to learn that’s just #untrue.
The thing that we [I] so often forget is that we [I am] are already enough as we are. There is no becoming more “enough” for anyone. God never called us to be this way— living a life of pretend, and yet we are always playing that game.
I think this is more than just true for myself. I am constantly striving, hungering almost, to be this “perfect” Christian, but I’ve been realizing more and more lately that this doesn’t exist. The thing is that we aren’t even perfect people, so there’s no way that we can be perfect anything, let alone a perfect Christian. We were called to be like Jesus, who was perfect, but it’s entirely different to imitate the image of perfection than to actually be that.
We’ve got to stop trying to seem perfect. When we pretend like we’re living this perfect life, we’re risking the salvation of the people around us who don’t know Jesus but know that they’re messy.
At some point, we have to give ourselves a break from pretending it’s all okay. It’s not. And that’s okay. If you haven’t gotten there, don’t worry. It took me a long time to accept my un-okayness, and even longer to see how God could use that as a tool to reach others. I needed permission to be not okay.
If that’s what you need, go ahead. You’re allowed. You’re allowed to not have it all together, you’re allowed to be messy, you’re allowed to not be okay.
Give yourself some breathing room, or what we call in Freedom:
and that grace, my dear friends, leads to repentance, and honest living. Grace makes me want to live an honest life. Because of His unrelenting grace, I can be imperfect and I can be okay with it.
So yeah, people suck. I suck. But God can do anything with anything, I mean, look what He did with me, look what He’s doing through you. Don’t beat yourself up too hard, kid, there’s grace, and oh boy does it run in abundance.